SATAN'

SATAN'S BEAUTITUDES ....

IF THE DEVIL WERE TO WRITE HIS BEAUTITUDES,

THEY WOULD PROBABLY GO SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE TOO TIRED, TOO BUSY,

TOO DISTRACTED TO SPEND AN HOUR ONCE A WEEK WITH

THEIR FELLOW CHRISTIANS .. THEY ARE MY BEST WORKERS.

BLESSED ARE THOSE CHRISTIANS WHO WAIT TO BE ASKED

AND EXPECT TO BE THANKED ,,, I CAN USE THEM.

BLESSED ARE THE TOUCHY WHO STOP GOING TO CHURCH

...THEY ARE MY MISSIONARIES.

BLESSED ARE THE TROUBLE-MAKERS ...

THEY SHALL BE CALLED MY CHILDREN.

BLESSED ARE THE COMPLAINERS ...

I'M ALL EARS TO THEM.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE BORED WITH THE MINISTER'S

MANNERISMS AND MISTAKES ... FOR THEY GET NOTHING OUT OF HIS SERMONS.

BLESSED IS THE CHURCH MEMBER WHO EXPECTS TO BE INVITED

TO HIS OWN CHURCH ... FOR HE IS A PART OF THE PROBLEM INSTEAD OF THE SOLUTION.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO GOSSIP FOR THEY SHALL CAUSE STRIFE

AND DIVISIONS .... THAT PLEASES ME.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE EASILY OFFENDED ...

FOR THEY WILL SOON GET ANGRY AND QUIT.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO DO NOT GIVE THEIR OFFERING

TO CARRY ON GOD'S WORK ... FOR THEY ARE MY HELPERS.

BLESSED IS HE WHO PROFESSES TO LOVE GOD

BUT HATES HIS BROTHER AND SISTER ... FOR HE SHALL BE WITH ME FOREVER.

BLESSED ARE YOU WHO, WHEN YOU READ THIS THINK IT IS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

AND NOT YOURSELF ... I'VE GOT YOU TOO.

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